Jeff’s Blog: 28 Years Of Marriage

This Saturday, Jan. 28^th, Kathy and I will celebrate our 28^th wedding anniversary. Just some thoughts about marriage after 28 years:

1. I’ve recently completed my Meyers Briggs personality profile with our staff and I am an INTP – it’s amazing anyone would want to live with me let alone for 28 years!
2. I married way above my head. Kathy is first class in more ways than I can share in this brief blog. – Not sure she knew what she was getting into?
3. One reason we made it to 28 years is our decision at the beginning was that this was a deal with no exit ramps. That decision early on made us face our problems knowing that either we deal with things and help them get better or we would be miserable.
4. Not much miserable about it all. Picking a mate with a lot of character and someone who is passionate about God as a follower of Jesus makes for more good times than bad.
5. Early on we decided that if something was of interest to the other than the other would explore it to see what the interest was. That allowed us to develop a lot of mutual interest. (now a days, Kathy says that I’m her hobby! Really my art is her hobby – but I’ll take the idea that I’m her hobby – after all I’m an INTP)
6. When we said “I do” we both were very clear that neither of us would ever be first place in the others life. We knew then and it has proved true, the more we each keep Christ in first place in our lives the better we can love and serve one another.
7. Her family – Kathy has such great roots! I hear so many young couples say that they are not marrying their fiancés family – ha!!! Ask anyone who’s been married for more than a few years – you are marrying the family! That has been a bonus and a blessing for me.
8. A good healthy understanding and definition of love – it’s a choice, not a feeling. It’s pretty cool when the two line up, but it that’s the barometer every storm will bring disaster – and there will be storms. I hear couples talk about how they “fell in love”. That sounds painful. Like you’re walking down the sidewalk and didn’t see a big hole and fell into it – like you had no choice! The choice of love is lasting – the feelings of love will always follow the choice but are fleeting when our choice follows our feelings.
9. Like anything in life that is worth our time, discipline is the key to having and staying in love. We talk about most of the disciplines we are committing to in our marriage vows - stay the course. If you do marriage can be like a fine wine – it gets better with age. (I don’t even like wine! But I’ve heard it said that it’s better with age.)
10. Freedom and celebration of who we are individually. She loves coffee, I hate it. I like NASCAR, she takes a nap. She likes working in the yard; I am only called upon if she needs me to carry something heavy for her. Having a King size bed helps, you can always get close for intimacy but when it comes time to sleep – give me my space. I’m an artist – she has a thing for artist!!! She’s a hot singer – I have a thing for hot singers!!!